Oct 26, 2020 · This is a woman who is making it easy because she has high romantic interest. She’s acting just like women are supposed to act. She likes the guy. She picks the guy. She’s going, “Hey, hey, I like you. Hey, pay attention to me.”. That’s typically what they do.
If a person is consistently inconsistent, the behavior is likely to be conscious. We’re not always going to be in a good mood. Sometimes we won’t feel like talking, going out, showing ...
Nov 15, 2017 · The first step in dealing with inconsiderate people is to consider the reasons why they act as they do. While it is easy to watch a rude person in …
May 31, 2020 · Their inconsistent behavior creates a silent uncertainty in the partner's mind, causing the partner to stay put and try harder to make things work, and that is exactly what toxic men rely on. In ...
Kindness begets Kindness. In some cases, the best way to encourage considerate behavior in others is to show kindness yourself.
The first step in dealing with inconsiderate people is to consider the reasons why they act as they do. While it is easy to watch a rude person in action and quickly assume the worst about him, it is far more challenging to approach the situation with an attitude of empathy and acceptance.
Inconsiderate behavior can drain our spirits and leave us feeling irritable and cranky. It can wound our image of basic human nature and convert us to negative individuals. It can even make us behave rudely in response to inconsiderate behavior.
In some cases, an apology to the person you are conversing with is in order, and will often serve to diffuse the confrontation so that you can handle the issue calmly and courteously. Dealing with Inconsiderate Co-Workers
However, there are some situations where you may provoke the inconsiderate behavior that you are encountering by acting in a rude way yourself. When a person feels attacked in some way, their natural defenses will kick in with like behavior in many instances.
When you start paying attention to the patterns of change in a relationship, as well as to the way you respond to those changes that don't stick, you can begin assessing the situation more accurately and determine if the man you're involved with is trying to keep you trapped and under his control.
In the beginning, women fall for destructive men in the moments the guy seems like a normal guy or when he appears to be a victim because then he is seen as vulnerable. Women get trapped by these guys because the ;over-empathize with them, ;never expecting that a guy's victim story may have been invented in order to pull her in emotionally.
A woman in an unchangeable, toxic relationship typically has the same expectations she would have of a changeable, healthy relationships so she gets caught up waiting and expecting the situation to get back to the "normal" she saw in the beginning.
If you notice these strategies or a pattern of incomplete follow-through, start watching to see if there's a lot of word play going on or if you feel he's being secretive.
Manipulative men are often highyl skilled at putting on a good show of being the perfect gentlemen around your friends, family or coworkers. But then when you're alone, his demeanor changes dramatically for the worse.
This may be his job, success, money, or romance. Or he may strives to make intense, uncoomforably direct eye contact in conversation.
In the day-to-day moments, she questions herself because he acts like she's imagining all the stuff she's experiencing. She starts to wonder if perhaps she is misunderstanding him. Privately, she thinks, Could it have been my mistaken memory? Did I forget? Is he really right and he never did say X or agreed to Y?
The tendency for most women is to look at his actions that show he DOES like you and rely on them rather than look at the big picture of his overall behavior. Unfortunately, that’s not the best strategy and can easily lead you astray.
Inconsistent men tend to be flaky and won’t put in this kind of effort.
But if he doesn’t initiate and you always text first or suggest getting together, he’s not into you or the right man for you . These are more examples of confusing male behavior.
If you’re still wondering why does he ignore me if he likes me, keep in mind: His silence is a form of communication. He’s telling you through his lack of action that he’s not that into you. He absolutely does not care about you the way you do for him. This is NOT a relationship of balanced attraction or interest.
This isn’t a matter of holding out and being patient long enough for him to suddenly get serious and become consistent. Either he is or he isn’t.
Women may also have evolved extra-sensitivity to interpersonal cues as a way to avoid conflict, a state that can feel intolerable to women, according to Brizendine. The flood of chemicals that takes over the female brain during a conflict -- especially within an intimate relationship — is almost on the same order as a seizure, she explains.
And any number of things can turn them back on. A woman may refuse a man's advances because she is angry, feeling distrustful -- or even, because her feet are chilly, studies show.
A week later, there is a rise in progesterone, the hormone that mimics valium, making women "feel like cuddling up with a hot cup of tea and a good book," Brizendine said. The following week, progesterone withdrawal can make women weepy and easily irritated. "We call it crying over dog commercials crying," Brizendine said.
For most women, their mood reaches its worst 12-24 hours before their period starts. "It is not entirely an issue of free will," Brizendine stressed.
Over the course of evolution, women may have been selected for their ability to keep young preverbal humans alive, which involves deducing what an infant or child needs — warmth, food, discipline &mdash without it being directly communicated. This is one explanation for why women consistently score higher than men on tests that require reading nonverbal cues. Women not only better remember the physical appearances of others but also more correctly identify the unspoken messages conveyed in facial expressions, postures and tones of voice, studies show.
Stressful situations are known to spur the "fight or flight" response in men, but researchers have suggested that women, after sensing a threat, instinctually try to "tend or befriend." That is, they skirt physical responses in favor of forming strategic, even manipulative, alliances.
Affecting up to 80 percent of women, PMS is a familiar scapegoat. But women are affected by their cycles every day of the month. Hormone levels are constantly changing in a woman's brain and body, changing her outlook, energy and sensitivity along with them.
Their victims hang onto the hope that these small acts of kindness are evidence of the abuser’s ability to change or at the very least, justification for their malicious behavior. However, Carver is clear that these are excuses and diversions, not signs of redemption. These intermittent periods of kindness rarely last. They are embedded in the abuse cycle as a way to further exploit abuse victims and to manipulate them into staying.
There is almost always intermittent reinforcement at work in a relationship with a malignant narcissist or manipulator because abuse is usually mixed in with periodic affection at unpredictable moments . Intermittent reinforcement works precisely because our “rewards” (which could be anything from the fleeting normalcy of affection to a display of the abuser’s remorse) are given to us sporadically throughout the abuse cycle. This causes us to work harder to sustain the toxic relationship because we desperately want to go back to the “honeymoon phase” of the abuse cycle.
Intermittent reinforcement is used to strengthen the trauma bond – a bond created by the intense emotional experience of the victim fighting for survival and seeking validation from the abuser (Carnes, 2015).
Trauma bonds keep victims attached to their abusers through even the most horrendous acts of psychological or physical violence, because the victim is diminished, isolated and programmed to rely on the abuser for their sense of self-worth.
Joe Carver reminds us, abusers are able to use periodic affection or small acts of kindness to their advantage. By employing pity ploys or giving their victims some affection, a gift, or just the absence of their abuse from time to time , their positive behavior becomes amplified in the eyes of their victims.
In order to sever the trauma bond, it is essential that the victim of abuse seek support and get space away from the abuser, whether that come in the form of No Contact or Low Contact in the cases of co-parenting.
Only when survivors allow themselves the complexity of their emotions towards the abusers can they fully recognize that their investment in their toxic partners has little to no positive return – it is, in fact, a gamble that is far too risky to take in the long run.