How to defuse anger?
One way to defuse a person's anger is to focus his attention on something else. One 1998 study found that rumination increased feelings of anger, while distraction can decrease them. You can do this with laughter, if it's appropriate – it's impossible to laugh and be angry at the same time.
What happens if you respond to someone else's anger?
Secondly, if you respond angrily to someone else's anger, you can easily end up being seen as the aggressor yourself. This is disastrous if you're in a customer-facing role.
How to calm down when you are angry?
If you feel yourself getting upset, politely take a break from the conversation and go for a walk to calm down.
How to deal with an angry person?
Start by finding the root cause of their ang er by asking open-ended questions.
What does it mean when you respond calmly to an angry episode?
Finally, when you respond calmly to angry episodes, you set a good example for others. Your behavior can inspire the people around you, which can transform a team's ability to deal with anger.
How to deal with angry and upset customers?
Use role-playing , so that team members can practice dealing with angry and upset customers. They'll also benefit from developing emotional intelligence , good communication skills , and assertiveness .
What to do when you feel threatened by someone?
If you feel threatened by an angry person, trust your judgment. Leave the room immediately if you feel unsafe, or if you're too upset to resolve the situation on your own.
Focus on Your Emotions
The first step is to focus internally. Consider what’s going on with you and your emotions. You might be feeling frustrated, angry, upset, or disappointed. It’s important to first take stock of your own feelings and emotionally regulate them. This way you can enter a conversation with a controlled sense of calm and professionalism. When you feel negative emotions rise because o…
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Focus on The Environment
After you’ve gotten a handle on your emotions, you need to remember your environment. Remember that this is a workplace situation—you are not with friends or family. Your manager and other colleagues are also affected by tension in the team, so you want to handle it professionally. Another aspect of the environment is literally where you are working—i.e. in-pers…
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Focus on listening, Then Speaking
It’s not just about having the right words to say. It’s equally important to actively listen and have open body language. Tense work situations usually arise because of some kind of misunderstanding. Therefore, to clear things up, you need to truly understand what the other person is saying. Active listening involves: 1. Letting them speak without interrupting. 2. Showin…
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Focus on The Outcome
At the end of the day, you need to continue to work with your colleagues. Tense work situations can continue to simmer and get worse if they aren’t addressed. So, make sure you speak up and resolve any issue that’s impacting your work. When entering a tough conversation, focus on the outcome. Ask yourself: 1. Who needs to be involved in this conver...
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Acknowledge The Situation
The first step is to have the conversation without delay. I love the phrase “What you ignore becomes more” because there is so much truth to that. When you become aware that someone on your team is upset, or that their behavior has changed in a detrimental way – address it. Don’t wait for them to bring it up. Schedule time with that person to have the conversation and ackno…
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Listen to Understand, Not to Reply
After setting your upfront contract and stating your observations – shut up and listen. It may take a while for the other person to answer – that is okay. Your job as a leader is to address the issue head-on, create an opportunity for the team member to explain themselves, and then figure out what needs to be done. You can do this with compassion a...
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Don’T Try to Win – Try to Resolve
Once you’ve actively listened, asked good follow up questions, and identified the cause of the problem, it’s time to resolve the issue - without making it personal. Having heard what you’ve heard (and observed) – what is the end goal now? Has this problem been addressed simply by acknowledging the issue, listening to the employee, and creating a sense of understanding? Doe…
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