A psychologist at Harvard University, Robert Rosenthal, conducted the most critical study to analyze sex differences in decoding nonverbal behaviors. He developed a PONS test (Profile of Nonverbal Sensitivity) to ascertain people's ability to read nonverbal cues.
From head to toe, men and women in Western culture have entirely different repertoires of nonverbal cues. Many nonverbals are taboo from one gender to the other. Women have their private tacit code. Although outwardly we all know how to behave, internally, certain mindsets still prevail at work and home.
While women struggle to accommodate interpersonal needs, men don't place the same value on the skills required to do so. Men tend to admire covert power and control; they feel no need to be able to read the nonverbal environment or lubricate relationships. Feminine skills in the interpersonal arena don't get the same respect among men.
In testing boys and girls from third grade through college with the PONS, Rosenthal and his team found that, in 77 percent of the studies, women were superior to men in accurately judging messages communicated by facial expressions, body movement, and voice quality.
While men are typically known for their dominance and assertiveness in the workplace, women are more submissive and tend to feel intruded on by males (Heathfield). These stereotypes about men and women’s nonverbal communication can also be applied to flirting and dating.
For example, slouching, rolling eyes, frowning, and glares are typically viewed as negative to most people. Positive forms of nonverbal communication are sitting up straight, steady eye contact, smiling, and high fives (Cherry). All the different types of nonverbal communication—whether it’s with the same gender or the opposite gender—can be used differently by men and women. The types of nonverbal communication are used differently among men and women. Personal space between the two are typically completely different. For example, men have a greater amount of personal space, meaning that one must come far into their “bubble” to intrude upon them. A man’s personal space is so large that — when someone approaches them— it can possibly cause arousal or discomfort (Riggio). Women, however, have a smaller amount of personal space, which makes it easier for one to feel intruded on when an individual enters their surroundings. A woman’s personal space is often invaded by men more than the other way around (Riggio). A man’s posture is usually very spread out and they tend to convey dominance and power. Women take up less space and hold their legs tightly together, which can convey submissiveness. Men use these spread out stances because it is commonly known that a confident person will hold a “forceful” posture, while someone who is shy will usually be more confined (Riggio). While men and women differ greatly with posture, touch between them can be complicated and misinterpreted very easily (Riggio).
The physical flirt touched the other person frequently and tends to be better off in an open environment, rather than being close and personal with the other individual (Lynch). As traditional flirts, the men took the lead—which is how most people think dating should work— and the women were more reserved. Women who were traditional flirts also showed their wrists and hands, also known as “palming”. The sincere flirts, who were mainly women, didn’t fidget around the man and used alluring looks, along with laughing and smiling at the man, to flirt; the sincere flirts make they are flirting more noticeable (Lynch). Unlike the sincere flirts—who make their flirting obvious to the other individual—the polite flirts are complete opposites to the sincere flirts; polite flirts are generally more distant and not as flirtatious. These flirts tended to lean back, lower the pitch of their voices and lacked intimacy altogether. The men who were polite flirts nodded and didn’t tease their dates (Lynch).
When a dominant person touches someone, it may be an intrusion, especially if the action was not wanted. Men are usually the ones who initiate touch, and studies have shown that men will walk with a woman side-by-side with their dominant hand next to her. It is not common for a woman to initiate touch, but when a woman does, it is typically viewed by men as a sexual interest; even though a woman’s touch is usually to show concern and nurture others (Riggio and Cherry). While nonverbal communication differs between men and women, it also varies depending on the scenario it is used in. Not only does nonverbal communication differ with gender, but it can also vary in different situations. In the workplace, using nonverbal communication is important because it can tell other employees and visitors what kind of an employee someone is (Heathfield). For example, something as small as office décor can be a form of nonverbal communication. When people enter an office, they will notice the desk placement, the distance between the desk and chairs, and if any furniture separates one from other coworkers (Heathfield). The distance between desks and chairs are significant because most people appreciate a generous amount of physical space. Most people in the United States prefer at least 18 inches of space around others while being too close can seem too intimate for a professional setting (Heathfield).
In Harry Harlow’s monkey study, it was demonstrated that deprived touch and contact with baby monkeys, who were raised by wire mothers, experienced hindered development, which also caused permanent deficits in behavior and social interaction (Cher ry). While every one may perceive an individual’s actions differently, some actions are generally more negative or positive than another.