assert yourself: how to reprogramme your mind for positive action - a self-help course

by Violet Bauch 10 min read

Do I need help learning to assert myself?

Aug 03, 2008 · Learn to manage your self-talk by paying close attention to negative or unhelpful statements you say to yourself. Edit your negative thoughts into positive ones by finding evidence - or lack thereof - to support or deny these unhelpful thoughts. For example, you find yourself saying "I will never get a raise.

How can I learn to be more assertive with my partner?

Learn how to assert yourself. This classic book has already changed the lives of thousands of people. Improve your self-esteem and motivation Cope with unfair criticism and exploitation Communicate effectively with others Gael Lindenfield is Britain's best-known author writing about self-esteem issues.

How can I improve my self-esteem?

You assert your own rights while recognizing your boss's need to get the job done. The Benefits of Being Assertive. Being assertive allows you to communicate your wants and needs more authoritatively, while remaining fair and empathetic. It can also help you to become more self-confident, and even improve your mental health. [1]

How does assertiveness affect self-esteem?

Your self-esteem can affect whether you: like and value yourself as a person are able to make decisions and assert yourself recognise your strengths and positives feel able to try new or difficult things show kindness towards yourself move past mistakes without blaming yourself unfairly take the time you need for yourself

How can I train my mind to think positive?

Here are some tips that to get you started that can help you train your brain how to think positively.Focus on the good things. ... Practice gratitude. ... Keep a gratitude journal.Open yourself up to humor. ... Spend time with positive people. ... Practice positive self-talk. ... Identify your areas of negativity.More items...•Feb 21, 2019

What are the 3 C's of assertive communication?

What Are The 3 C's Of Assertive Communication? Confidence – you believe in your ability to handle a situation. Clear – the message you have is clear and easy to understand. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.

How can I change my brain from negative to positive?

12 Tips to Turn Those Negative Thoughts Into Positive ActionsStart a Journal. ... Always Ask Yourself, “What Would I Say to a Friend?” ... Say “Stop“ ... Change Negativity to Neutrality. ... Create an SOS File of Positive Praise. ... Breathe. ... Talk to Somebody. ... Follow a Healthy Lifestyle.More items...•Jul 7, 2021

How do I reprogram my mind from negative thoughts?

8 Steps to Retrain Your Brain to Curb Negative ThoughtsBe Aware of Your Thoughts. ... Turn Negatives into Positives. ... Understand What Triggers You. ... Create a Personal Mantra. ... Practice Daily Gratitude. ... Pay It Back. ... Switch Up Your Environment. ... Develop a Morning Routine.

What are the four strategies to help you communicate assertively?

Four-Steps For Assertive CommunicationLISTEN. ... EXPRESS. ... SPECIFY. ... OUTCOME. ... When expressing your request consider: timing, stick to facts, tone of voice, use 'I' messages, use good eye contact and relaxed posture, and start with the least threatening person.Jan 21, 2014

What are the 5 tips for assertive communication?

Here are five ways to communicate assertively.Allow yourself to feel anger. ... Make clear, assertive requests. ... Validate the other person's feelings. ... Be a good listener. ... Be collaborative.Jun 4, 2014

How do you rewire a mindset?

10 ways to rewire your mindset for success1 Watch others. ... 2 Create an anchor. ... 3 Try chunking. ... 4 Create a good first impression. ... 5 Train your memory. ... 6 Remember evolutionary impulses. ... 7 Understand visual expressions. ... 8 Stop making the same mistakes.More items...•Mar 22, 2017

How can I rewire my brain to be happy?

Here are a few of the simple ways science has proven you can rewire your brain to be happier:Practice gratitude. Just like with a musical instrument, you can improve your attitude by practicing. ... Get more sleep. ... Think about your accomplishments. ... Make a decision. ... Give a hug or get a massage.Feb 24, 2017

What does it mean to be assertive?

Being assertive translates to respecting the opinions, time, and effort of others. Stand up for yourself, while also treating everyone else with positive regard.

What is the difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness?

As described above, the two are drastically different styles of interacting. Assertiveness implies fairness and standing up for yourself in a way that is appropriate and non-threatening to others.

Why is it important to set boundaries?

Setting boundaries will help you to communicate your needs to other people and ensure that people know what you will and will not tolerate.

What does assertiveness mean?

For the most part, you have the right to use your time as you see fit. Assertiveness means giving a head shake to situations that are not in your best interests. Saying "no" might be difficult at first, but, with practice, you will see that exercising this right helps you get ahead.

What is a qualifying statement?

Drop the qualifying statements. In English, a qualifying statement is something added to an initial statement that reduces it's strength. In the context of writing arguments, it is good practice to leave room for uncertainty. Therefore, qualifying statements are useful in this regard.

Who is Jennifer Clark?

Jennifer Clark is an Evolution Coach and the Founder of Soulful Solutions, her life consulting business which helps both individuals and organizations evolve and grow into their full potential based in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

How to be assertive?

Assertiveness provides several other benefits that can help you both in your workplace and in other areas of your life. In general, assertive people: 1 Make great managers. They get things done by treating people with fairness and respect, and are treated by others the same way in return. This means that they are often well-liked and seen as leaders that people want to work with. 2 Negotiate successful "win-win" solutions. They are able to recognize the value of their opponent's position and can quickly find common ground with him. 3 Are better doers and problem solvers. They feel empowered to do whatever it takes to find the best solution to the problems that they encounter. 4 Are less anxious and stressed. They are self-assured and don't feel threatened or victimized when things don't go as planned or as expected.

Why is being assertive important?

One of the main benefits of being assertive is that it can help you to become more self-confident, as you gain a better understanding of who you are and the value that you offer. Assertiveness provides several other benefits that can help you both in your workplace and in other areas of your life.

What happened to Debra's patience?

Debra's patience is beginning to wear thin with her colleague Ronan. A few days earlier he had undermined her yet again, this time in front of other colleagues during the weekly team meeting. So, she decided to tell him how he made her feel. But just as she was about to approach him, she lost her nerve.

How to use "I want"?

Use "I want", "I need" or "I feel" to convey basic assertions and get your point across firmly. For example, "I feel strongly that we need to bring in a third party to mediate this disagreement."

What is assertive behavior?

When you're assertive, you are self assured and draw power from this to get your point across firmly, fairly and with empathy. Aggressive behavior is based on winning.

Is the broken record technique good?

Be careful with the broken record technique. If you use it to protect yourself from exploitation, that's good. But if you use it to bully someone into taking action that's against their interests, it can be manipulative and dishonest.

What does it mean when you are aggressive?

When you're aggressive, the power you use is selfish. You may come across as pushy or even bullying. You take what you want, often without asking. So, a boss who places a pile of work on your desk the afternoon before you go on vacation, and demands that it gets done straight away, is being aggressive.

How to remember your past successes?

Celebrate your successes. No matter how small they may seem, take time to praise yourself and notice what you did well. It could also help to remember past successes.

What do you do when you are bored?

Do things you enjoy. You could take up a hobby, learn something new, do a creative activity or simply take the time to read a book or go for a walk.

Why is extraversion important?

Regardless, practicing and embodying extraverted qualities can help increase your confidence , especially when you can call on them whenever they are needed.

How to make a life map?

Create a life map in your mind, know where your life is going. Break that vision into smaller steps that serve as landmarks to follow. Eventually, get an idea for your yearly progress, monthly achievements and daily to do lists. The most important thing to accomplish your daily to do list, do them first.

What is the subconscious mind?

The subconscious mind is a powerful tool we have that controls our lives underneath the surface. 40% of the actions we take each day are habits we have formed in the past. This means, that our subconscious mind is controlling most of our reality and our life is on automatic most of the time!

What is self neglect?

Self neglect and not giving yourself the attention you require. An addiction to your comfort zone and aversion to personal growth. Expecting little from yourself and life in general. Taking care of yourself esteem is the first step to building serious confidence.

What is Jim Lute's story about?

Jim Lute’s tells a story about how he changed a salesman’s life we, together, they uncovered that he had troubles making sales do to subconscious programming he got from his mother as a child. “Don’t talk to strangers, it’s dangerous”.

What is manipulating?

Manipulating to control or influence people or situations in an unscrupulous way; to deliberately exploit, seek to control, influence and use/turn to one’s advantage, manoeuvre, engineer situations and ‘manage’ people . Manipulators are indirect and take the passive aggressive route.

What to do if someone is violent?

If the violent person is trying to physically hurt you, get out of the situation as soon as possible and call the emergency services straight away. Let the police handle those situations.

Why do we need to speak up?

We need to learn when to speak up and when to stay silent. We need to speak up if our silence could be damaging – emotionally or physically – to ourselves or to other people. But we should stay silent if what we seek is revenge, for example, because retaliation tends to lead to an escalation of aggression and violence.

How to be a good drama teacher?

listening to your inner wisdom and trusting your intuition about the people and situations you encounter. having clear, firm boundaries, without being rigid or unreasonable . knowing how to simply say ‘no’ and disengage from drama.

Why are internal boundaries important?

internal boundaries (regulating your relationship with yourself.) Last, but most important, boundaries help us express our individuality. Not all of us are shown during childhood how to maintain healthy boundaries, but the good news is that boundaries can be learned. It helps if you are able to:

How to show hostile people that we won't tolerate their antics?

Initiating and upholding personal boundaries provides a way to show hostile people that we won’t tolerate their antics. This is ruthless compassion in action. If we habitually let people stand close and get personal or direct offensive comments at us or we put up with physical abuse, all this says to the aggressor is, ‘I will let you hurt me because I need to avoid conflict’. It won’t stop that person behaving aggressively. This is even more likely to happen if the aggressor lacks self-awareness or a conscience, which makes it important that you impose boundaries of communication and some safe distance between the aggressor and you.

What is instinctive instinct?

The word ‘instinct’ derives from instinctus, or ‘impulse’ and is innate. It is instinctive in us to recognise when to run from a perceived danger. This is known as the ‘fight or flight’ response. Unfortunately, such gut feelings can also be silenced and suppressed.

Why is it important to put yourself out there?

Whether you apply for a promotion or sign up for a cooking class, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you have confidence in yourself and your abilities. Resilience: Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience, or ability to bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.

Why is self compassion important?

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a mistake, fail, or experience a setback. It's a way of relating to yourself that allows you to become more emotionally flexible and better able to navigate challenging emotions, and enhances your connection to self and others. Researchers have linked the ability to relate to ourselves in a compassionate way to self-confidence.

What is self confidence?

Updated on April 30, 2021. Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. Self-confidence is important to your health and psychological well-being. 1 Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become successful in your personal and professional life.

How does self confidence affect performance?

Better performance: Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren't good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts . 2 So ultimately, you'll perform better when you feel confident.

Who is Amy Morin?

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," and the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast. Self-confidence is defined as a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. Self-confidence is important ...

Is it hard to feel good about yourself?

It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you’re abusing your body. On the other hand, if you practice self-care, you know you're doing something positive for your mind, body, and spirit, and you'll naturally feel more confident.

Is it healthy to compare your salary to your friend's?

Whether you compare how you look to your friends on Facebook or you compare your salary to your friend’s income, comparisons aren’t healthy. In fact, a 2018 study published in Personality and Individual Differences found a direct link between envy and the way you feel about yourself. 3