your self pity is a terrible first course why don't you try the soup instead

by Meredith Reichert 9 min read

How to stop self-pity?

Self-pity separates you from reality — it coerces you into playing the victim role, instead of empowering you to become the hero of your own life. That’s how self-pity is destructive.

Why do I fall into self pity so easily?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-pity as “a self-indulgent dwelling on your own sorrows or misfortunes”. Here are some of the reasons why self-pity is so destructive: It is addictive. You want people to feel sorry for you. It becomes a habit and just like any other habit, it is hard to kick. It makes you into a victim. It prevents you from being completely honest about …

What is the sin in self-pity?

Apr 03, 2015 · This is the paradox of self-pity: Those who feel genuinely sorry for themselves don't need to talk about it.Thus they tend not to come across as self-pitying and are more likely to …

Is self-pity destructive?

Feb 28, 2022 · Don’t say “Let’s do lunch sometime” if you don’t mean it. This is mainly about your offline life: “false followup” is worthless. Don’t tell a new acquaintance you want to have coffee at some indefinite point in the future if in your heart, you won’t. Some will argue “this is being polite”.

What is self pity?

1. Self Limiting. In making these kinds of statements, it should be evident that our self-pity will prevent us from attempting to achieve our goals in life. We will become pretty comfortable – comfortably uncomfortable – listening to the voices that tell us we’re not good enough even to try.

How to stop comparing yourself to others?

Stop comparing yourself to others. As compelling as our thoughts may be unless we have had very long, in-depth conversations with people, we primarily imagine their experience of life. Our self-pitying ego will attempt to convince us that we have it worse-off than others, desperate to perpetuate the victim narrative. Reminding yourself that this is just a self-destructive pattern as often as you find yourself reveling in bitterness at your fantasies about how easeful their lives are should be sufficient to break the spell.

How to be grateful for your life?

Look for the good in your life; practice gratitude with our gratitude list. Writing down a few things every day that we feel grateful for can help to flip our worldview and loosen our victim narratives’ grasp. Change the broken record that keeps reminding you that you aren’t good enough or that nothing good ever comes to you. Take the time to be clear that, of course, there are beautiful things in your life, even if it’s just the one friend that remembers to text you or the park near your house with the lovely trees. Remember that self-pity is a choice, and gratitude is too. You can do this any time you have a spare moment. You need not even make lists, but make sure to habitualise some focus on the things you enjoy about your life, the good hands you were dealt, and you may find that the scales weren’t so imbalanced after all.

Does mindfulness change your life?

No doubt you’ve already heard this, and perhaps you’ve already tried. It’s a brutal practice to maintain, but we have long since concluded in the world of psychology and science that if you keep it up, mindfulness will change your life. Remember that self-pity got a hold on us because it feels good – at first.

Is self pity bad for you?

One study from the 90s suggests that people who thought they were “hopeless” had a 20% increase in their blood vessels’ hardening – about the same as smoking a 20-pack of cigarettes a day! Equally, the anger that often rides alongside our self-pity can significantly increase our heart disease and stroke risk. Chronic self-pitying can lead to anxiety, depression which can again impact our physical health negatively.

Self-Pity Separates You From Reality

We all experience pain, sorrow, and misfortunate in life; no road is free from bumps. And just like joy and happiness, sadness is a normal emotion that we should never shy away from. It’s the dwelling on our misfortunes, however, that destroys us.

Look For The Silver Lining

The key to stopping self-pity is to shift your attention from all the things that you can’t do to all the things that you can do; from all the things you don’t have to all the things you possess.

No Storm Lasts Forever

I still feel the effects of that accident. I still have back pain. I still visit the physiotherapist twice a month.

What is self pity?

Self-pity is an ugly, self-indulgent emotion that you need to reject. You always have a choice as to how you respond to your adversities. It is not up to your parents, your partner, your children or your friends to make you happy.

Why do people have self pity?

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines self-pity as “a self-indulgent dwelling on your own sorrows or misfortunes”. Here are some of the reasons why self-pity is so destructive: 1 It is addictive. You want people to feel sorry for you. It becomes a habit and just like any other habit, it is hard to kick. 2 It makes you into a victim. It prevents you from being completely honest about your own actions and the control you have over your own choices. 3 It makes you selfish. You are so consumed with your own pain that your entire focus is inward. You don’t even see the pain of others and you are unable to feel grateful when people try to help you. 4 It is self-indulgent as it is the easy route to take and prevents you from growing into all you can be as a person. It gives you an excuse to not apply yourself. You don’t have to account for your own failings, or look at other people fairly.

Why is self pity so destructive?

Here are some of the reasons why self-pity is so destructive: It is addictive. You want people to feel sorry for you. It becomes a habit and just like any other habit, it is hard to kick. It makes you into a victim. It prevents you from being completely honest about your own actions and the control you have over your own choices.

Who was the most influential woman in the world?

and a very influential political leader, known for his powerful speeches. Oprah Winfrey overcame the challenges of poverty and sexual abuse, becoming one of the most powerful and influential women in the world.

Is it okay to feel sorry for yourself?

If you’re facing challenging circumstances, feeling sorry for yourself is understandable. It may even be part of the route towards healing. However, you have to be careful that you don’t start using self-pity as a crutch in the face of the everyday challenges.

What is easy to do is also easy not to do?

As Jim Rohn says, “What is easy to do is also easy not to do.” And this is an underlying principle that will carry through in all aspects of communication. Distractions are a surefire way to ensure a lack of understanding or interpretation of a conversation, which in turn, will create inefficiencies and a poor foundation for communication.

How to stop feeling hurt?

Become aware of the pain you are creating and make a firm decision to change it. 3. Refuse to Be a Victim.

What questions should I ask after a speech?

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after every speech: 1 How did I do? 2 Are there any areas for improvement? 3 Did I sound or look stressed? 4 Did I stumble on my words? Why? 5 Was I saying “um” too often? 6 How was the flow of the speech?

Is self pity bad for you?

Even more alarming; an article written in The Independent states that self pity can be as bad for your heart as smoking 20 cigarettes a day![1] Contrary to much you might read about self pity, it’s not an emotion in itself; it’s a state of mind.

Is self pity a good thing?

Self pity isn’t a good or bad thing ; it just doesn’t work over the long term. The more we feel sorry for ourselves, the more inclined we are to keep repeating unwanted circumstances. Life will never be easy all the time, because that’s not why we are here.

Why is advertising not good?

Trying to be positive in the midst of a difficult time, means you have to stuff the real emotion down. This is not good for you or good for others, because the emotions are likely to resurface at a later time.

What is the drama cycle?

3. Refuse to Be a Victim. Victim mentality is quite often the cause of self pitying behavior. It’s called the drama cycle and for some reason we choose to blame someone or something else for the way we feel. The drama cycle initially feels good, because as a victim, someone else tries to save us from our problems.

What does it mean to be self pity?

Self-pity is when we have pity for ourselves; especially when we have a self-indulgent attitude toward our own hardships. Something bad happens to us, and we decide to lament our loss alone — since no one else apparently will.

Who is Abigail Dodds?

What Does the Body Say? Abigail Dodds is a wife, mother of five, and graduate of Bethlehem College & Seminary. She is author of (A)Typical Woman: Free, Whole, and Called in Christ (2019).

feeling depressed at night time is way worse than in the day time

Its like all your thoughts and feelings are intensified. you feel more like shit because you know there’s people out there that are probably living there best lives.

I feel as if I actually died a long time ago and I am on autopilot now

I feel like I died a long time ago and I just run life on autopilot at this point. I am a shell of the person I use to be. Almost like a zombie. I don't know if it's years of isolation or depression rotting my brain.

I hate how this world runs on money

I have an internet friend with depression and issues going on at home and she can't go to therapy because she can't afford it. Like, imagine not being able to get your mental health fixed because you can't afford it, what the fuck?

fuck everything

I have no choice but to accept that I will surely never be happy and that I will always be alone. I will limit my life to survive.

It hit me how abnormal deppression is. Like we are actually mentally ill

I pulled up to work, and saw a semi truck. And outta nowhere I get the urge to dive under it.

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