The key to turning around the hero syndrome is understanding its source: needs. The hero is driven by the need for approval, recognition, and/or feeling needed and valued. The need is met briefly by the "high" of being asked to do something, but it is exactly this short-lived high that makes it an addictive cycle.
The hero is driven by the need for approval, recognition, and/or feeling needed and valued. The need is met briefly by the "high" of being asked to do something, but it is exactly this short-lived high that makes it an addictive cycle.
It took months to get him out from under a backlog of projects and disorganization, but what had become clear immediately was that Matt suffered from the hero syndrome. As soon as I mentioned it, he knew it was true.
What is the "Hero Syndrome"? It is an unconscious need to be needed, appreciated or valued that disguises itself as a good thing, but threatens to make you bitter and to overextend you. This insidious need will get met when you say yes and overpromise what you can deliver in order to be liked, please other people, or avoid the perceived consequences of saying no. The workplace is not the only place where it surfaces. Mothers and community volunteers are also highly susceptible.
If you get great satisfaction out of being the only one who can solve a particular problem , the one who will drop everything to help, brace yourself. You may have the hero syndrome.
Matt hired me as his coach to help him become more organized and effective at work. It took months to get him out from under a backlog of projects and disorganization, but what had become clear immediately was that Matt suffered from the hero syndrome. As soon as I mentioned it, he knew it was true.
In order to get it met, you have to keep saying yes. The secret is getting the need met in a much healthier way. Ask colleagues, managers, mentors, coaches, loved ones or friends to help you get those needs met without doing things for them (only if the level of relationship makes this an appropriate request).
Now, it's perfectly normal to gain recognition and satisfaction from being the only one who can solve a particular problem, but when the joy of the recognition quickly fades into resentment, stress or overwhelm, sorry -- you've become the hero at a great cost.