how do you decide when to stop treating your elderly parent and let nature take its course

by Ms. Juanita Purdy MD 3 min read

How to take care of an aging parent?

1. Determine the needs of your aging parent. Being a caregiver for a parent might be daunting since you aren’t sure what exactly has to be done. 2. Consider your own requirements and talents. Regardless of age, everyone is at a distinct point in their lives. Before you make the 3, remember to include your name.

How can I Stop Feeling resentful of my elderly parents?

When should elderly loved ones stop driving? A clue that you should stop driving is when you have Parkinson’s disease or arthritis-related stiffness that is severe enough to affect your response time. Another warning indicator is if you’ve reached the …

What are the options for aging parents who can't live alone?

Feb 23, 2021 · Lealo En Español. Updated February 23, 2021 – The top 12 warning signs that your aging parents are no longer safe to live alone could include frequent falls, weight loss, confusion, forgetfulness and other issues related to illnesses causing physical and/or mental decline such as Dementia or Alzheimer’s. Many adult children and other ...

How can I help my elderly parent stay independent?

Aug 10, 2017 · Try to Understand. One of the key ways to find solutions is to understand the actual problem at hand. Some seniors will simply be stubborn for the sake of being stubborn – but there is typically an underlying reason. The loss of control over their own lives is one example, although there are others too.

What to do when you can no longer care for an elderly parent?

When you can no longer care for elderly parents, a home care company can help. Professional caregivers can relieve the stress of family caregiving and begin supporting aging parents at home.Sep 21, 2020

Should I giving up my life to care for elderly parent?

It's also best to leave the care of your elderly parents to professionals if you can't offer them adequate assistance. This is especially important if your loved ones have serious physical limitations or cognitive issues.Jul 13, 2020

When Should end-of-life care discussion with patients and families occur?

First and foremost, palliative care experts believe that lessons about end-of-life communication should be reframed as not one conversation, but many, which should begin long before death and even before hospitalization.Sep 27, 2016

How do I know if my elderly parents need help?

18 Signs Your Aging Parent Needs HelpBounced checks, calls from collections, and late payment notices. ... Broken or damaged appliances and fixtures. ... Changes in mood or extreme mood swings. ... Cluttered, dirty, or disorganized house. ... Confusion and uncertainty when performing familiar tasks.More items...•Oct 12, 2021

When should you stop caregiving?

Signs such as avoiding the loved one, anger, fatigue, depression, impaired sleep, poor health, irritability or that terrible sense that there is “no light at the end of the tunnel” are warnings that the caregiver needs time off and support with caregiving responsibilities.Jan 8, 2020

Can family members be held liable for allowing an elderly parent to live alone?

Can family members be held liable for allowing an elderly parent to live alone? It is very rare that a family member is held accountable if an elderly parent refuses help and chooses to live independently.Aug 3, 2021

Who should make end-of-life decisions?

Without legal guidance, the most frequent hierarchy is the spouse, then the adult children, and then the parents. 13 Physicians should encourage the decisions that best incorporate the patient's values, realizing that the most appropriate source for this information may not be the next of kin.Aug 15, 2004

How do you communicate with end-of-life patients?

Find out if they need support to communicate, and include people who know them well. Avoid jargon and unclear language – for example say "dying" instead of "passing away". Find out how they express discomfort or pain. Allow enough time for conversations – be patient and ready to repeat yourself if needed.Mar 16, 2022

How do I talk to my family about the end of my life?

Encourage your family member to write a letter about his end-of-life wishes to himself, a spouse or partner, or a friend. Practice the conversation with a friend. Don't shy away from disagreements once the conversation starts. The conversation should be an ongoing dialogue, not a one-time discussion.

When should I be concerned about my elderly parent?

Consider being worried if your aging parents are losing weight unexpectedly. This can indicate physical health issues or, more likely, memory issues. If you are able to, check the refrigerator the next time you visit.

How do you know if your parent can't live alone?

Here are some signs the your parent should not be living alone: They require help with activities of daily living (ADLs) They have experienced a significant weight loss recently. They suffer from a memory loss condition such as Alzheimer's disease.

What do elderly need the most?

Here's what senior citizens want most when they get older.Community. ... Food. ... Routine. ... Respect. ... Physical Activity. ... Comfort. ... Financial Security. Some seniors require assistance in managing their money. ... Independence. Some senior citizens struggle to take care of themselves and complete everyday tasks.More items...

Why are seniors stubborn?

Some seniors will simply be stubborn for the sake of being stubborn – but there is typically an underlying reason. The loss of control over their own lives is one example, although there are others too. If you can figure out specifically why a parent is resisting help, it may be easier to work out the best way forward.

Why do people resist help?

Focus on Empowerment. In many cases, people resist help because it feels like they are losing control of their own life. And honestly, that’s a scary concept. This is the same reason why many seniors want to drive for as long as possible, even if they are putting themselves and others at risk.

What is Cassie's background?

Cassie has a background in internet marketing along with personal experience at being a caregiver, self-care and stress management. She is heavily involved in the functional side of this site and occasionally contributes articles.

Do seniors need help?

In many cases, it takes a dramatic event for a senior to realize that they actually do need help, such as a fall or an accident. Obviously, this isn’t the ideal, especially as such an event could be debilitating, if not fatal. But, there are cases where there is literally no other approach.

How to deal with abusive parents?

When a parent is abusive, don't escalate the interaction by stepping into their circle of drama and control. Stay in your own emotional circle of loving family members and supportive friends.

How to find peace with your parents?

Counseling and support can provide validation, encouragement, and problem-solving strategies that will help you find some peace with your parents, even if they haven't changed. Engage only in positive conversation. Avoid dysfunctional patterns of interaction in which you provoke each other, and the conversation quickly becomes contentious.

Why do parents use guilt?

For example, when your parent's unjust criticism of you causes you to doubt yourself, you could be perpetuating an old way of thinking that damages your self-esteem. Or, if your parent used guilt to control you while you were growing up, they are probably still using guilt, because it works.

What are the different types of abuse?

But know that there are more subtle types of abuse tactics that are commonly used, such as: 1 Manipulation 2 Gaslighting 3 Guilting 4 Shaming

What are the behaviors that can disrupt the daily lives of seniors and their caregivers?

Obsessive or Compulsive Behaviors . Saving tissues, worrying if it’s time to take their medications, constantly picking at their skin and hypochondria, are all types of obsessive behaviors that can disrupt the daily lives of seniors and their caregivers.

Why do elderly people pull their hair out?

Many family caregivers are pulling out their hair over their loved ones’ excessive spending habits. Some seniors rack up debt, gamble, or send money to charities and scammers, while others refuse to spend a single penny on things they actually need, such as medications, adult briefs and long-term care.

Why do seniors lash out at their caregivers?

Occasionally, seniors will lash out at the person who is making the biggest effort to ensure their happiness and well-being. Left unchecked, the anger and frustration described above can become so severe that it results in abuse of the caregiver.

What does "they are driving me crazy" mean?

“They are driving me crazy!” This phrase is uttered (or screamed) by family members everywhere who are caring for elderly loved ones. Caregivers often deal with unusual, unruly and embarrassing behavior from their care recipients. The AgingCare.com Caregiver Forum is filled with stories of irrational elderly parents, personality changes, hallucinations and temper tantrums.

How to handle mental health issues?

How to Handle Symptoms of Mental Health Issues. Hallucinations and delusions in elders are serious warning signs of a physical or mental problem. Keep track of what your loved one is experiencing and when so you can discuss it with their doctor as soon as possible.

What to do if someone is physically abused?

If physical abuse is the issue, then seek professional help. This may consist of a phone call to the police or adult protective services (APS), attending counselling, or permanently handing over your loved one’s care to a court-appointed guardian, professional caregivers or a long-term care facility.

Is obsessive compulsive behavior a character flaw?

View your parent’s obsessive-compulsive behaviors as a symptom, not a character flaw. Obsessive behavior can be related to several disorders, including anxiety, depression, dementia and other neurological issues. It is important to discuss a senior’s symptoms with their doctor, especially if they are interfering with their quality of life and daily routines. Therapy and/or medication may be the answer.

What to do when your parents are aging?

What to do when aging parents need help. If your aging parents need help to stay safe and healthy, you might be unsure about how to handle the situation. Figuring out their needs, understanding the options, and making decisions can feel overwhelming. Focusing on something concrete helps you feel more in control of the situation.

Why is it important to involve your parents in your care?

That’s why it’s so important to involve your parent as much as possible when you’re planning for their care. This helps them see you more as a partner rather than someone who’s swooping in to make changes. They’re likely to be resistant in the beginning, so it will probably take multiple conversations.

What is the role of a geriatric care manager?

Geriatric care managers – they can act as consultants to guide you or they can manage all aspects of caring for your parent.

When Ageism Is Rampant

People can become uncomfortable dealing with the emotions of aging and the trials and tribulations of the golden years, which contributes to ageism. Ageism is defined as a tendency to regard older persons as debilitated, unworthy of attention.

What Caregivers Should Take Note Of

Being a caregiver can be a tough responsibility, as the role can be both emotionally and physically taxing. It will demand devotion and patience since the loss of independence is one of the most difficult transitions for anyone who suddenly requires the intrusion of a caregiver.